The impact of words can be greater than what was imagined so far. The words received can last a long time in memory and can affect psychologically. Especially if the words are negative.
This can also be found in the world of work. Quoted from Huffpost, at least there are some words at work that can be psychologically damaging. Read more below.
"Don't Be Offended, But..." or "Not Disrespectful But..."
This first word seems to be psychologically damaging and is often found in the world of work. Mary Abbajay, as a leadership development consultant for the Careerstone Group, was hired by a company to lead the team. When he met the manager of the team he would be working with, he was told "with all due respect, I've forgotten more about team building than you will ever know".
Abbajay eventually turned down the job and after 15 years the words still stick with him. These words seem to be condescending which gives a negative connotation to the listener. In addition, a sentence that says "no offense, okay?" can be condescending to the speaker and disrespectful of the other person's point of view.
"I Don't Have Time for This"
The solidity of the world of work can be described by the existence of a 'space' where employees are free to talk, share stories including the bad ones and feel comfortable asking for help when they are in trouble.
Therefore, if at any time a pattern develops where you respond to a coworker's request by telling them that you are too busy and don't have much time, then that will send a signal that they are not a priority and they should not come to you when they need help.
That way, there will be a reluctance to come back again to just ask for advice or ask about something at a later time. This of course can interfere with the existing cohesiveness.
"What X Is Trying To Say"
These subsequent words lead to the repetition of words made by coworkers. For example, during a meeting with coworkers and you express your opinion and then other coworkers reframe those words with their own version. Like "Oh, so what X meant was..."
Abbajay said that this can bring negative feelings to the person expressing his opinion. The repetition of words makes the feeling "I'm not clear, I'm stupid, people don't understand me, don't appreciate it from my mouth". Instead of repeating the words of a coworker, Abbajay suggests asking for another opinion if needed.
"You Look Young for..." or "You're So Good At Talking To..."
Lawrese Brown, founder of C-Track Training, a workplace education company cites these types of disparaging comments. This occurs when there is a conflict between a coworker's assumptions and expectations about how one should present oneself.
This can be related to identity or even leadership potential. Brown himself says he has heard of clients being told they are 'weak leaders' or 'looking young'. Therefore they are advised to change their hair style.
The existence of such comments can apparently interfere with productivity and create feelings of inadequacy at work.
"I do not mean it like that"
Brown says that words can be interpreted differently in each person. However, you have to be careful. Saying "I didn't mean that" is usually a general defensive comment that disclaims your previous statement.
For that, before saying this defensive sentence, first ask yourself whether it is appropriate to say or not.