Dealing with sister-in-law whose behavior is miraculous sometimes makes us not stop stroking our chests. Here are the tips.
The husband's family was present with him. You can't choose. Maybe there is a sister-in-law who is kind and like a big sister to you. But not all are lucky, on the contrary, they get a masyallah brother-in-law.
Unfortunately, we can't possibly swap them out for more fun versions. But that doesn't mean there isn't anything that can be done. Here are 7 types of sister-in-law who can test your patience plus how to deal with them with grace and dignity.
The Gossip
His hobbies are complaining and spreading gossip about you! Everything you do is considered wrong, then he conveys it to the ears of in-laws or husbands. What's worse, he can't keep secrets either. To him, you and your family are a source of news.
Solution: Never tell him any secrets. Keep personal interactions and issues to a minimum. This also applies to social media: the safest thing is not to comment on his posts and hide your stories from him.
Annoying
Some sister-in-laws have annoying habits like claiming that she knows more about her brother/brother than you do. He could come uninvited at inconvenient hours. Enter the room without knocking because “he doesn't need your permission to meet his brother/sister”.
Solution: As long as the habit is just annoying, just laugh it off. Or, if he's younger, talk about your objections in a casual manner. But if his habits lead to disrespect, convey it in simple but firm words.
The Lover of Control
A sister-in-law like this can tire you out, because she demands that you obey her rules and manage you. If he gives advice, he wants you to take it. That's an obligation.
Solution: Take a deep breath when he tries to dictate to you and remind him that in your household, you and your husband are the rules. Not other people's rules.
The meddler
Always want to know the affairs and what is happening in your life in detail.
Solution: A polite smile, a shake of the head, and pretending to be busy if you don't want to give a detailed answer. Do it a few times and (hopefully) he will get the message that you are not interested in sharing what is your privacy.
The likes to compete
Whether it's about your cooking skills or how quickly you complete household chores, sister-in-law considers you her rival, claiming to "do it better". Sometimes, it can be motivation. But if every time, it means beating the drums of war.
Solution: Just accept it first and take it as constructive criticism. Not an invitation to a duel. But if his behavior starts to annoy your in-laws, let them know your objections. Tell him that you and he have advantages and disadvantages of each. If they don't want to hear your complaints, limit your interaction with them.
The ostracizer
As a daughter-in-law, you often consult with your in-laws about some major decisions. You also show concern for all members of your husband's family. But you feel like your sister-in-law doesn't appreciate your presence, ignores you, and isolates you especially at family gatherings.
Solution: This is one of the problems that can make a person discouraged. You try hard to accept your husband's family but by them, you are still considered an outsider. Talk to your partner about his situation and feelings, without blaming the husband's family. It is also the husband's job to help you be accepted as part of his family.
The Jealousy
If she often acts or talks rudely and meanly, you may be dealing with a jealous sister-in-law. He likes to see you sad, and hard to see you happy. He may think of you as a stranger taking his place in his brother or sister's life.
Solution: Show him Who's the Boss. “Rude behavior and speech should not be tolerated and some people may not even realize the harmful effects of their malicious comments,” says Anita A. Chlipala, LMFT, founder of Relationship Reality 312 in Chicago.
You could say something like, "You probably didn't mean it, but when you said 'X' to me, it hurt my feelings." If he keeps repeating it, you rebuke him again by saying, "Remember when I scolded you because you were rude to me?" Well, you just did it again. Don't repeat. I don't like it. And I'm sure you don't like it when people talk rude and mean to you." If it still fails, ask the husband to reprimand the person.