The presence of a baby must be a great joy for a mother. However, it is undeniable that there is an uphill battle to go through to meet the baby. Therefore, a mother needs time to recuperate.
Unfortunately, not everyone is sensitive to the mother's feelings. Many close people unconsciously comment and act recklessly so that it hurts the mother's heart. So that this doesn't happen, let's learn to take care of mom's feelings! Reported from various sources, here are some things you should not say in front of new mothers.
1. Commenting on Mom's Appearance
When visiting a baby giving birth, many people unconsciously say things like, "Why do you look so tired?", "Wow, after giving birth you are fat?", "Oh, please take care!", and things like that.
The words above may sound ordinary but can really hurt the mother. The reason is, we never know how hard mothers adapt to changes in lifestyle and body shape. Hearing such words does not give encouragement but actually makes his mental fall even more.
2. Talking about Baby's Physique
Some children may be born with unfavorable conditions, such as low weight, weak condition, or there are parts of the body that are not perfect. Whatever the conditions, it is very unwise to talk about it in front of new mothers. Childbirth has taken enough energy and thought, why are we still adding to the burden again?
3. When Baby Cry
Especially mothers who are giving birth for the first time, crying babies can make her panic. He is still learning and adapting. Therefore, we don't need to confuse him with words such as "The baby is crying, give him milk quickly!", "Why is the child crying all the time?", and so on.
A new mother must have panicked enough to hear her child cry, so try to help instead of confusing her.
4. Talk About Breastfeeding
Illustration of Mother and Child/Pexels/Sarah ChaiIllustration of Mother and Child/Photo: Pexels/Sarah Chai
Various studies do mention that breast milk is the best intake for babies. However, we should never blaspheme mothers who do not breastfeed their children. The reason is, there are various reasons why mothers do not give breast milk, it could be because they have little milk production, are sick, or for other reasons. Let us learn to respect the conditions and decisions of others.
5. Comparing
Another hurtful sentence that we should avoid is comparing the condition of mother and baby with ourselves or others. "I used to be...", "My son was first..." and so on. It's okay to give suggestions or references, but choose words that don't offend, yes!
6. Advice without being asked
Someone who has experience with babysitting is usually very itching to give advice, even without being asked. Maybe you mean well, but not all mothers need words that are patronizing. Even if you want to give advice on parenting, try to be more sensitive in choosing words. Say it gently so that the mother does not feel patronized let alone belittled.
7. The adab of coming to the new mother's house
When hearing the news of the birth of a baby, many people may flock to want to visit. However, don't forget your manners, Beauties! Happiest Baby reveals a number of etiquette when visiting babies, one of which is choosing the right time and not coincide with the rest time.
Also, don't make a fuss in the house because it can disturb the baby. As much as possible, never bother him by asking to be entertained or accompanied for a long time. It would be better if you brought some useful gifts.
Those are some things you should pay attention to when visiting mothers and newborns. It's not an exaggeration, in fact new mothers are generally still very tired and tend to be sensitive. Unpleasant words will actually trigger the baby blues that can have a bad impact in the future.